In Memory and Spirit
by Tranquillity's Chaos
Summary: Oh, and if you're wondering, I never had a career picked out. I wasn't sure what I wanted to be. I think I'm happy with the one I've been given though. I'm a guardian angel. Pretty cool, right? - In which Roxas reminisces about his life, and how now he watches over them all. He is proud, and he is remembered.


**I was listening to **_**Miss American Pie**_** by Don McLean, and yeah, I got this idea. Yay for music and general loneliness. This is also in remembrance of the victims of the Sandy Hook shootings, the Batman massacre and all other mass shootings that have happened.**

* * *

I don't know what kind of kid you were in high school. I was that kid who everyone knew, but I certainly wasn't friends with everyone. I had a lot of friends, but I only had a few really close mates. A few best friends. I suppose you could say I had an army of associates, and a fucking telephone book of contacts.

I could walk around school at lunch, and I'd pass about eight or nine people who would stop me for a few moments to chat, just little things like 'hows it going' or 'hey, did you hear what happened to-?' Gossip wasn't my thing, but I was always in the know.

And the people that hated me, oh dear lord, there was an abundance, let me tell you. I think the amount of death stares I would receive on any one day was more than enough for concern. But you know, I wasn't worried. I had enemy's, no doubt about that, but I had good friends too.

I had enemy's because of my own faults. I was notoriously easy to anger, I was quick with insults and I would never, ever back down. I would not bow, to anyone. I would not bow.

That said, the majority of people at school, and who just knew of me in general didn't treat me like trash. They knew I wouldn't stand for it, they knew I'd take them if they picked a fight.

It never stopped people though, they always thought they were better than me. Always, always..

Oh, and as we got older, we all started changing. Olette was suddenly a girl, yeah I know, beats me. Pence took notice, and surprisingly, he didn't stay as, excuse me, pudgy, as he was when we were little.

Hayner, well his temper is as bad as mine. Surprisingly, all those fights he'd get into with Seifer actually amounted to something other than violence. I would have never, ever, picked Seifer for being gay.

Sora and Riku, as predicted by every single person who'd ever come into contact with them, ended up together. It was the summer after Junior year that they got together. That was actually when everything really did change. It wasn't just little things like Pence suddenly releasing how bad he had it for Olette, or like how everyone suddenly weren't the little brat's we'd always been.

I can stand to say that as a child, I was one of the most depressing people ever. I was a pessimist. I had always been that way. Sora, darling twin that he is, is the optimist. And he is also notoriously childish. You can imagine how he'd taken it when I'd told him, matter of fact, that the Tooth Fairy was not in fact real.

Anyway, the summer after Junior year, or before Senior year, how ever you want to put it, was a time of discovery. Not experimentation, nothing like that, but it was us realising who we really were. Namime had always wanted to be an artist, and she still did. But it wasn't just portraits and paintings, to everyone's immense, and I mean immense, surprise, she said she wanted to be a Tattoo Artist.

I think she could do it, I do.

Sora had always been on the school teams; Blitzball, Struggle- although that was more my and Hayners thing, and track. Star of the track team, no one could catch my bro. And when it came to Blitzball, there was no better defender than Sora.

Riku, for all he's worth, would go on to become an engineer. We just didn't know it. In the mean time, he was one of the best mechanics in Hollow Bastion, something that irked some of the older grease monkey's. Cid thought it was hilarious, but then again, he was always a weird old man. Riku said he was a cool boss though.

Axel- I haven't mentioned him yet, have I?

Well, my pyromaniac friend would always stay just that, obsessed with fire. It didn't really surprise me, but Axel said he was seriously considering a career in Chemistry, he just wasn't sure what. After we'd graduated from High School, Axel would go on to the University of Wisconsin-Madison and earn a doctorate in the field of Advanced Pyrotechnics (I don't know if this actually exists :p). Along the way he would cause major damage to the school building and equipment, as well as accidentally cause a bomb scare. Yep, that's Axel for yah.

Demyx. Half-homo, half-fish. Woah, calm down, I wasn't being derogatory, I was just quoting Larxene. Yes, I am aware that makes it worse. Anyway, Demyx, even more surprisingly than Namine, said that he wanted to be in the tourism industry. It would happen, and we all got used to the idea, seeing as Demyx's personality is rather friendly. However, instead of a plane, train or African Safari, he chose cruises. We just can't keep him away from the water, can we? Haha.

Hmm, Zexion. Can't forget him. Guess what? He got offered a full-ride scholarship to…wait for it…Harvard. Yes, people of the world, Zexion Colesman was offered a full-ride, extremely expensive, scholarship to Harvard.

Put your hands up if you are even remotely surprised.

No one? Neither.

Marluxia, the walking fruit-cake, is in Broadway. Yes. Broadway. I know. He's making a really big name for himself too. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been seen at one of his shows, and apparently so has Britney Spears.

Larxene, the bitch as previously mentioned, has always had a talent for scaring the wits out of people. Personally, she'd never actually scared me, although there are have been a few times when all I wanted to do was run. She always been a very organized person, and so it fits her well as being a PA. But she wouldn't settle for being just anybody's assistant. No people, the only man she'd work for is Tony Stark. Tony Stark and Larxene Potts, taking on the world. I feel sorry for the reporters.

Kairi, after getting over her rage that Riku was gay, came to accept her best friends relationship. Soon after she met a guy called Setzer, and while none of us particularly like him, he's good to her. She's taken a job in accounting, and last time I saw her, she was driving a Dodge. She's not a feminist, but she'd rather die than rely on Setzer to buy her things. She's doing well.

Does that sum it up? I think it does. All our friends are well, and I'm proud to be honest. I do miss Axel, and I know that there are nights when he cries himself to sleep. I never thought that he would feel so lonely, and it hurts to see that. It really does hurt. I know Sora lost some of his bubbliness after the accident, and Riku became a little quieter. Zexion would have curled into himself if it wasn't for Demyx, and the half-homo, half-fish was never quite as out going afterwards. Marluxia is still as flamboyant as always, but there are days when I can see how forced it is.

Olette and Pence are closer than ever, and their wedding was truly beautiful. Even though I wasn't actually there, they reserved a seat and as I sat there watching the wedding, I saw Sora and Axel glance at the seat. I think they could tell I was there. Olette made a beautiful bride, and Pence looked happier than I've ever seen a person. It was a traditional white wedding, all out and grand as they come.

Olette is pregnant, but she hasn't told anyone but Pence. I'm really happy for them, and I know they'll make great parents. I heard them talking about names for the child. If it's a girl, they're going to call it Roxanne, and if it's a boy, Roxas. I can't quite describe what I felt when I heard that, but I swear I didn't cry. I swear..

Sora himself wants to adopt, but he hasn't said anything to Riku yet. He's afraid of how Riku will react, but if I could, I'd tell him to just come out with it. I know Riku wants to adopt just as bad as Sora.

Axel's stayed single, but I wish he wouldn't. I don't want him to live a life alone. I don't want him to die alone. He spends his days working on new pyrotechnics and stuff I don't really understand, and surprisingly, working with kids who were the victims of shootings. It's sweet, in a really sad way.

Xemnas is serving life in prison, and even though I've only visited once, I know he'd been beaten up on more than one occasion. Apparently it's frowned upon in Twilight Town Penitentiary to take to a high school with a semi-automatic. I hate him because its all his fault I can't see my friends anymore. It's all his fault I have to watch them in their pain.

There are days when Hayner comes back to Twilight High, and he'll just sit in the science lab and stare at the wall. I know he's reliving the moment. Seifer comes with him sometimes, and even though we never got along, I'm glad he turns up.

I know that they both sit there and can see the moment when I pushed Xion, my lab partner, to the ground and instead of her head, the bullet went into my chest. I know that Hayner can still hear the screams that came from Ms Gainsborough, and the blood that pooled around Tifa and Leon, and Zack and Selphie. But I know the sight of my own body, lying mere inches from himself, and the blood that stained his boots, is what haunts him the most. I know that even though the blood is gone from the floors and the walls, that Hayner still owns the boots that are soaked in my blood.

There was a memorial for Tifa, Leon, Zack, Selphie and myself. They say that Tifa and Leon never had a chance, and that Zack and Selphie were cornered like rabbits. But they say that I was hero for saving Xion, and that I will be forever remembered. There's a building named after me at Twilight High, funnily enough. I've tagged all of the buildings at least once, and it's kind of annoying that I can't mark my own building. It's called the Roxas Arena. It's Twilight High's very own sporting grounds. Pretty cool, right?

At graduation, and I'll say right now- I am so pissed that I didn't get to graduate. Come on, four years in that hell hole, and I don't even get to graduate? Dude, I was a month out. A month. You bastard.

Anyway, at graduation, it was a solemn affair. It was ill-suited, in my opinion. Graduation's supposed to be a day of celebration, but the class of 2012 wasn't the same. There was a loud, deafening cheer that went out when the valedictorians speech was over. That's Zex' for yah. He was always quiet, but his words of wisdom were well heard. I think it may have also been how he said that we, and when I say we I mean them, need to move on and make lives for ourselves because we, and when I say that I mean us dead people, will never get to. That they had to live for us, because we couldn't, and wouldn't get to. It's a nice sentiment.

The sight of all those funny blue hats being thrown into the air was nostalgic, but in a really, really weird way…

Either way, however you look at it, everyone is living their lives and I can't be happier. The way they've made a life for themselves, and the way that they are getting to live their dreams is something that I'll never get. But I can rest in peace knowing that _they_ can.

Oh, and if you're wondering, I never had a career picked out. I wasn't sure what I wanted to be. I think I'm happy with the one I've been given though. I'm a guardian angel. Pretty cool, right?

So, if you'll excuse me, Riku's about to propose.

* * *

**So what do yah think? I like it. It's kind of sad, right? I cried. No I didn't, I'm lying. I'm lying that I'm lying. Whatever. If this happened to you, as in, you were Roxas and your friends were his, how you feel? Would you be proud? Or Roxas was your friend/your friend was Roxas, and they were killed, how would you feel? How would you go on? How would it effect your friends? **

**I thought a little about my friends (lack there of) while I wrote this, and then imagined all of them in the roll of Roxas, but I think that if this happened, **_**I**_ **would be Roxas. I don't know how I feel about that. I wouldn't mind, I guess, if it was for someone who I didn't hate. Which is hard to come by. **

**-TC**


End file.
